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Thursday, January 31, 2008

A valid verdict of the victorious, vivacious, virtuous V (2)

Imagine a country where the government controls all by use of force and excessive security systems. No one wants to stand against the government for fear of death, except one masked man who does not fear death and is only known as “V.” This charismatic man is a voice for the souls who have lost their lives during Chancellor Adam Sutler’s reign of terror. He has the answer to this belligerent government and it seems there is no way to stop him from broadcasting himself all over the country.

Passion flows from every word spoken on TVs through out London. Citizens become intrigued by this unfamiliar face, as they are use to seeing the faces of the controlling media’s stars. He bluntly evaluates them by telling them they are responsible for the way things have come to be in their country and that it is their place to help stop it.

V shows these people that he has not intended to harm them by making himself appear more like them. He forms trust and credibility to get people to listen to what he has to say. Why would anyone take a man in a silly looking mask seriously if in fact he wasn’t just like them?

He knows that the government wants its citizens to believe that everything is just fine with their country, but he also knows that deep down they all know that he is right and that there is something wrong with the bigger picture. V intends to bring truth back to a country where weapons over rule the truth. “Words will always retain their power. Words offer meaning and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth.”

Injustice, cruelty, oppression are all words that strike fear into people. V chooses his words very wisely to bring out the specific emotion need to get his point across .

He doesn’t place all of the blame on them for the mere fact that their thinking was corrupted by war, terror, and disease. It was the government who used this to their unjust advantage. So V lets them all boldly know that he was the one who destroyed the Old Bailey, and that by destroying it he was making a statement. His statement was that London has forgotten what liberty and justice were

In the end he lets the citizens know how they can fight back, in a very simple way. All they have to do is meet him, a year from the time of his speech, to show their opposition of the government. V greatly inspires them with his words and he is very successful in that the turn out of people at parliament on the fifth of November was almost all of London.

1 comments:

Mr. Hughes said...

P1:
--mention V's rhetorical strategies in your thesis sentence
--good intro

P2:
--develop more fully; two sentences cannot suffice as a para. (aim for 7-10)

P3:
--good rhetorical question that adds style to your analysis
--develop para. fully

P4:
--never end a para. with a quotation; all quotes must be analyzed in depth; never assume that your audience knows why you quoted a particular line; quoting is a good opportunity to break down the speaker's language in order to illustrate the speaker's purpose

P5:
--combining this para. with the former would have been a good idea

P6:
--instead of using "them" in the 1st sentence of a new para., you should probably define them in this para.; although you've already done this earlier in your essay, each new para. shouldn't start off with a pronoun describing whoever you plan to discuss
--be clear about this "Old Bailey" and its significance to V's speech; let your audience know the significance of the Old Bailey, in other words, define Old Bailey--you assume that your audience already knows what it is; make this connection for us

P7:
--no need to mention the outcome since this outcome is not a part of the text the class is analyzing

PROS: you understand each component, and I like your awareness of tone throughout. the rhetorical triangle seems to have helped you here. Nice

CONS: development, solid connections, and a bit more analysis will help

Final Thoughts: from what I've read, i think you've got what it takes to pass the AP exam. continue filling your bag with the ammunition I present in class, knowing that I am presen